This was like Tavi’s ex; but it gets at how I kept a kernel of him in me, in order to do well at my work. Notice the movement which could be pegged by doctors closely observing a patient, as somehow “maladapted,” specifically how I keep moving around because I am self-conscious. I don’t think it’s okay and I would actually consult Tavi about this kind of thing, to avoid coming across like a creep.